Many of us have cared for others in some capacity. Moms care for children everyday. Folks my age often care for aging parents. Some care for others as a profession. And then there are the round-the-clock, day in and day out care givers.
First, if this is you, please let me say — bless you! The tasks are never-ending, the all-in sacrifice takes every ounce, the drain is to the scrape-the-bottom. I understand. I dealt with all the emotions and attitudes. It changed me.
I adopted a philosophy early in my adult years. It goes like this: Look ahead to future days then imagine looking back to current days. Be able to say, I would do it the same. In other words, live without regrets. Mistakes are teachers, and if we pay attention, we can right a wrong so quickly that they skip the regret column.
As I was caring for my Bill, this philosophy took hold of me. One particular night, I heard him rustling in his hospital bed. I knew he needed something, but this body of mine was so tired that I… well I let him rustle as I lay in my own bed. I just couldn’t do one more thing. The rustling, however, did not stop, and I knew it wouldn’t until I got up and met the need.
When I hovered over Bill to ask what he needed, he said, “Oh I didn’t want to bother you. I didn’t want to frustrate you again.” !!! Did you hear that? He said, again! I had been sending a clear message. Meeting his needs was a frustration. How could I let that happen? He was the one suffering.
No regrets Kath. I knelt to my knees to beg forgiveness. I cried. In the dark of the night, I cried before him. I said, “Babe, I will do for you whatever you need, whenever you need it. Whenever! I’m so sorry. That frustration is gone. I’m turning a corner right now. My heart is to serve you until Jesus Himself serves you.”
I stood by that resolve. I had to summons the smile sometimes, negotiate some rest time, pause and check my tone, and pray. But God helped me serve my husband. Today I am so thankful to be able to say, I would do it the same.
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